Celebrities

What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.

Here's a lame one....

What is Homer Simpson's favorite ice cream?

Chocolate-chip cookie DOH!

Visiting the modern art museum, a lady turnedto an attendant standing nearby.

"This," she said, "I suppose, is one of thosehideous representations you call modern art?"

"No, madam," replied the attendant. "That one's called a mirror."

What's the difference between Courtney Love and Wayne Gretzky?

Wayne takes a shower after 3 periods.

Here's a gross one:What's the similarity between Michael Jackson and McDonalds?

They both stick their beef between 9 year old buns.

IMPORTANT NEWS TO ALL GUYS THAT GO OUT TO CLUBS OR BARS Men, be more alert and cautious when getting a drink offer from girl. Good girls out there, please forward this message to your guy friends. Girlfriends, take heed!! There is a new drug that is in liquid form. The drug is now being used by female sexual predators at parties to induce their male victims to have sex with them. The shocking news is that the drug is available virtually anywhere! It goes by the street name "Beer". All girls have to do is buy a "Beer" or two for almost any guy and then simply ask the guy home for no-strings-attached sex. Men are rendered literally helpless against such tactics.

More Jesse news... Public Statement by the Rev. Jesse Jackson Due to the great consternation caused by the revelation of my act of procreation, I accept my obligation to give an explanation to thepopulation for my act of copulation. I gave in to temptation, for the anticipation of sexual gratification, that I could not obtain through masturbation, resulted in my fornication. I accepted her invitation,and provided her with excitation, stimulation, penetration, replication, and liberation. She provided lubrication (to avoid inflammation) and I wore condoms to avoid contamination. She cried for duplication but I insisted upon termination, in spite her fascination with variation. This has caused me great aggravation, and the agitation and provocation of the media has resulted in my humiliation,denigration, and degradation. My wife is considering castration, whichwould require my hospitalization. Pray that this matter will find culmination in my sanctification and rehabilitation so that my plans for nomination to my ultimate vocation will not result in revocation and termination. I hope this proclamation has provided illumination and verification and will prohibit further provocation. Sincerely, The Rev. Jesse Jackson

Who's got long blonde hair and big tits,and lives in Melbourne, Australia? Salman Rushdie.

Heard about Salman Rushdie's sequels to "Satanic Verses"? 1) Buddha, you Fat Fucking Bastard, 2) Jesus was a Lousy Carpenter.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new car? Neither has he.