Random joke from this category
Despite his best sales pitch, a life-insurance salesmanwas unable to get a couple to sign up for a policy. "I certainly don't want to frighten you into a decision,"he announced, standing up to leave ... "Please sleep on it tonight, and if you wake up in themorning, let me know what you think."
The bank manager was in the final stages of hiring a cashierandwas down to two final applicants -- one of which would get the job.
The first one interviewed was from a small college in upstateNew York. A nice young man, but a bit timid.
Then he called for the second man, "Jim Johnson!" Up stepped aburley young man who seemed quite sure of himself.
"He looks like he cantake care of any situation," thought the manager,and decided, there and then,to hire him. He turned to the firstapplicant and told him he could go and they would let him know.
Turning to Johnson, he said, "Now Jim, I like the way you carryyourself -- that's an important asset for the job as cashier.
However,you must be precise. I noticed you did not fill out theplace on the application where we asked your formal education."
Jim looked a little confused so the manager said,"Where did you get your financial education?"
"Oh," replied Jim -- "Yale."
"That's very good ... excellent. You're hired!"
"Now that you're working for us, what do you prefer to be called?"
Jim answered "I don't care... Yim... or Mr. Yonson."
A Manager of a retail clothing store is reviewing a potentialemployee's application and notices that the man has neverworked in retail before.
He says to the man, "For a man with no experience, you arecertainly asking for a high wage."
"Well Sir," the applicant replies, "the work is so much harderwhen you don't know what you'redoing!"
Work Environment:
How do you get 20 vice presidents in a mini-van?
→ Promote one and watch the other 19 crawl up his ass.
How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?
→ We've formed a task force to study the problem of why light bulbs burn out, and figure out what, exactly, we as supervisors can do to make the bulbs work smarter, not harder.
A man goes to his bank manager and says "I'd like to start a small business how do I go about it?"
The bank manager leans back and clasps his hands together on his gut and replies "Buy a big one and wait"
Life Insurance Agent: Don't let me frighten you into a decision. Sleep on it tonight, and if you wake up in the morning, let me know what you think.
Some professions
A psychologist is a man who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room.
A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.
A schoolteacher is a disillusioned woman who used to think she liked children.
A consultant is someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you the time.
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
A fellow is walking into a hospital and sees two doctors down on their hands and knees in one of the flower beds. He goes over and says, "Can I help? Have you lost something?"
"No," says one of the doctors. "We're about to do a heart transplant on an accountant and we're looking for a suitable stone."
