Blonde Jokes

How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
→ You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.

Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
→ She kept throwing out all the "W"s!

What did the blonde do when her doctor told her she had sugar in her urine?
→ She peed on her corn flakes.

Why did the blonde bake a chicken for three and a half days?
→ It said cook it for half an hour per pound, and she weighed 125.

Why do Blondes take the pill?
→ So they know what day of the week it is.

What do you call a smart blond?
→ A golden retriever!

- Blonde #1: Have you ever read Shakespeare?

- Blonde #2: No, who wrote it?

Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
→ To see what was on the other side.

A blonde goes into a world wide message center to send a message to her mother in Poland. The man tells her it will be $300. She exclaims, "I don't have any money, but I would do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother in Poland!!!"

To that the man asks, "Anything??"

And the blonde says, "Yes, anything!!"

With that, the man says, "Follow me."

He walks into the next room and tells her, "Come in and close the door."

She does.

He then says, "Get on your knees."

She does.

He then says, "Take down my zipper."

She does.

He then says, "Go ahead, take it out."

With that she takes it out and takes hold of it with both hands.

The man then says, "Well, go ahead!"

She brings her mouth closer to it, and while holding it close to her lips, she says, "Hello... Mom?"

Grow your own dope! Plant a blonde!