Blonde Jokes

Did ya hear about the blonde lesbian?
→ She liked guys!

To cut off a blonde's ears, put razor blades on each shoulder and ask the blond a question.

Automatically the blonde will shake her head from shoulder to shoulder saying "I don't know."

How do you get a blond out of a tree?
→ Wave

How do you drown a blond?
→ Stick a scratch and sniff sticker on the bottom of the toliet and tell her to sniff.

What is the diference between a blond and a mosquito?
→ A mosquito knows when to stop sucking.

When can you tell witch cars a blond's car?
→ The stick shift is wet.

What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
→ The more you bang it the looser it gets!

- We need to get these people to a hospital!

- What is it?

- It's a big building with a lot of doctors, but that's not important now.

- Did you take the patient's temperature?

- No. Is it missing?

- My tummy is getting awfully big, doctor.

- You should diet.

- Really? What color?

Shortly after the 911 emergency number became available, an elderly and quite ill blonde appeared in a Rochester hospital emergency room, having driven herself to the hospital and barely managing to stagger in from the parking lot.

The horrified nurse said, "Why didn't you call the 911 number and get an ambulance?"

The lady replied, "My phone doesn't have an eleven!"

The bride lay in bed on the first night of their honeymoon while her husband stood at the bedroom window, gazing at the stars.

"Come to bed, darling," she whispered after some time had passed.

"Not likely," replied the blonde groom, "my mother told me that this would be the best night of my life and I'm not going to miss a minute of it."

Why are all dumb blonde jokes one-liners?
→ So men can remember them.
→ So men can understand them.