Blonde Jokes

Ever hear about the blonde coyote who got a leg stuck in a trap - she chewed off three legs and was still stuck!

In Florida there was a swimming contest. The contestants were a brunette-Mindy, a redhead-Cindy, and a blonde-Sandy. The second race was the Breast Stroke...the order of finish was: The brunette came in first, the redhead second,... "but wait", where was the blonde??? She was still racing!

When she got to the finish line...she said "THEY CHEATED!!"

The Judge said "how??"

The dumb blonde screamed...

"THEY USED THEIR ARMS!"

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of cheerios?
→ Oh! Look!! Doughnut seeds!!!

Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice?
→ Because it said "concentrate!"

This Cowboy is riding the range when he gets ambushed by some indians. They take him back to their villiage to see the chief. The Chief looks at the cowboy and says: "You White man, you will die at sundown, but Chief is not as evil as white man, so you gettum three wishes. What is your first wish?"

The cowboy looks around, thinks, then, with a gulp, says: "well, can i talk to my horse o' great chief?"

The Chief looks puzzled, laughs to his tribe and says "he-he, sure white man you can talk to your horse". So the cowboy goes to his horse and wispers in it's ear, the horse looks puzzled, but then with bright eyes it gallops off in a cloud of dust. The Indians just sit and laugh at the cowboy for wasting his wish. BUT, all of a sudden the horse returns with a Blonde riding upon its back. The indians look amazed. The chief grins, points to a secluded Teepee. The cowboy now looks embarrassed, so he takes the blonde and goes into the teepee. An hour later he comes out and says, "Chief, can i talk to my horse again?" The chief says sure, but that be wish number two. Ok says the cowboy.

The cowboys goes to the horse and once again wispers into it's ear, and with a gallop the horse is off!... 15 minutes later, the horse returns, this time having a Brunnette aboard. Once again the cowboy is shown the secluded teepee.

An hour later the cowboy comes out, obivously tired now, with only a few hours left before sundown. He looks to the chief, and before he says a word, the chief grins and says "Sure crazy white man you can talk to your horse.."

So the cowboy goes to the horse and GRABS him by the ear and yells "LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT,...

I SAID - GO GET A POSSE!!!"

One day a Blonde and a Brunette were driving through the country..

The Brunette noticed a woman over in a field of wheat rowing in a kayak.

The Blonde then noticed also and the Brunette asked her "Why is she in a boat out in a field of wheat? There is a lake right down the road!"

And the Blonde replied... "Want me to swim out and tell her?"

A blonde girl goes into a hair salon and she's wearing earphones connected to her walkman.

She tells the hair stylist to cut her hair but NOT to take off her earphones. He had to cut around it. But, he thought it would look really stupid if he didn't cut under her earphones so he picked them up and lifted them slightly.

Suddenly, she fell to the ground, dead. The hair stylist picked up the ear phones to see what she had been listening to and a recorded voice was saying "Breathe In, Breathe Out. Breathe In, Breathe Out."

Why are dumb blonde jokes one liners?
→ So men can understand them.

Why do brunettes like their dark hair color?
→ It doesn't show the dirt.

Who makes all the bras for brunettes?
→ Fisher-Price

Why didn't Indians scalp brunettes?
→ The hair from a buffalo's butt was more manageable.

Why are most brunettes flat-chested?
→ It makes it easier for them to read their T-shirts.

Why are brunettes so proud of their hair?
→ It matches their mustache.

Why is the color brunette considered evil?
→ When's the last time ya saw a blonde witch?

How can you tell a brunette is lonely?
→ Check her for a pulse.

What is the most frustrated animal in the world?
→ A brunette rabbit.

Why do brunettes wear training bras?
→ It's cheaper than changing their Band-Aids every day.

Why did they quit selling brunette Barbie dolls?
→ Parents felt the dandruff might be contagious.

How do brunettes get the tangles out their hair?
→ With a rake.

Why don't brunettes get breast implants?
→ They've already spent their money on thigh & butt implants.

Why did God create brunettes?
→ So ugly men wouldn't feel left out.

What do brunettes miss most about a great party?
→ The invitation.

Where do brunettes get the hair for a transplant?
→ From their underarms.

How do you describe a brunette whose phone rings on Saturday night?
→ Startled.

What do you call a good-looking man with a brunette?
→ A hostage.

How did Revlon come up with it's brunette hair color?
→ By studying what oil spills did to seaweed.

What's the difference between a brunette and the trash?
→ At least the trash gets taken out once a week.

What kind of costumes do brunette girls wear on Halloween?
→ They just stand on their heads and go as dirty mops.

Why do brunettes have to pay an extra $2,000 for a breast job?
→ Because the plastic surgeon has to start from scratch.

What did the frustrated brunette say to her uninterested lover?
→ 'What part of yes don't you understand?'

A blonde, a redhead and a brunette all jump off a cliff. Which one hit the bottom first?
→ Not the blonde, she needed directions!