Animal Jokes

Do you know how to catch a squirrel?
→ Climb a tree and act like a nut!

What do you get if you cross a vampire with a snail?
→ I don't know but it would slow him down.

Did you hear about the doctor who crossed a parrot with a vampire?
→ It bit his neck, sucked his blood, and said, 'Who's a pretty boy then?'!

What's pink, lives in a sty and drinks blood?
→ A hampire.

What has webbed feet and fangs?
→ Count Quackula.

What do you get if you cross Dracula with a snail?
→ The world's slowest vampire.

What happened when a doctor crossed a parrot with a vampire?
→ It bit his neck, sucked his blood and said, "Who's a pretty boy then?"

If twenty dogs run after one cat, what time is it?
→ Twenty after one.

What time is it when an elephant sits on your car?
→ Time to get a new car.

How does a baboon make phone calls?
→ He just monkeys around on the line!