Newest jokes

What do you call a person who plays the viola?
→ A violator.

- Conductor: Again from measure 5, if you please.

- Voice from viola section: But Maestro, we have no measure numbers.

What is the difference between the first and last desk of a viola section?
→ Half a measure.

What is the difference between a viola and a trampoline?
→ You take off your shoes before you jump on the trampoline.

What is the best recording of the Walton viola concerto?
→ Music Minus One.

How do you fix a broken tuba?
→ With a "tuba glue."

- Tuba Player: Did you hear my last recital?

- Friend: I hope so.

What is the range of a tuba?
→ Twenty yards if you've got a good arm.

How do you know when a trumpet player is at your door?
→ The doorbell shrieks!

What's the difference between trumpet players and government bonds?
→ Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.