Newest jokes

What is the difference between a trumpet soloist and King Kong?
→ King Kong is more sensitive.

What do lead trumpet players use for birth control?
→ Their personality.

How many lead trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?
→ Fifty. One to do it and the others to stand around and say:

- I could do that better.

There is a frog driving east and a trombonist walking west. What can be surmised from this?
→ The frog's probably on its way to a gig.

What is the difference between a trombone and a trumpet?
→ A trombone will bend before it breaks.

How do you make a trombone sound like a french horn?
→ Stick your hand in the bell and play lots of wrong notes.

What's the definition of a gentleman?
→ One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

If you were out in the woods, who would you trust for directions, an in-tune tenor sax player, an out-of-tune tenor sax player, or Santa Claus?
→ The out-of-tune sax player!
You were hallucinating the other two.

How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?
→ Five. One to handle the bulb, and 4 to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.

What is the difference between a lawnmower and a soprano sax?
→ You can tune the lawnmower and the owner's neighbors don't mind if you don't return the sax when you borrow it.