Newest jokes

Iraqi TV Guide

MONDAY
8:00 Husseinfeld
8:30 Mad About Everything
9:00 Suddenly Sanctions
9:30 Allah McBeal

TUESDAY
8:00 Wheel of Fortune and Terror
8:30 The Price is Right if Saddam Says its Right
9:00 Children are Forbidden to Say The Darndest Things
9:30 Iraq's Funniest Public Execution Bloopers

WEDNESDAY
8:00 Buffy the Yankee Imperialist Dog Slayer
8:30 Diagnosis: Heresy
9:00 Just Shoot Me
9:30 Veilwatch

THURSDAY
8:00 Mahatma Loves Chachi
8:30 M*U*S*T*A*S*H
9:00 Veronica's Closet Full of Long, Black, Shapeless Dresses
9:30 My Two Baghdads

FRIDAY
8:00 Judge Saddam
8:30 Captured Iranian Soldiers Say The Darndest Things
9:00 Achmed's Creek
9:30 No-witness News

What did Marv Albert do after NBC gave him the pink slip?
→ He put it on.

Did you hear that Ellen Degeneres has a new line of sneakers "coming out"?
→ They're called "dykeees". They have a longer than normal tongue and you can get them off with one finger!

What's the difference between Madonna and the Panama Canal?
→ Well, you see, the Panama canal is a busy ditch...

I went past a plastic surgeon's shop the other day and saw Michael Jackson picking his nose.

Have you heard about Michael Jackson's New Book?
→ It's called, "The In's and Out's of Child Rearing"

What did O.J. say to Goldman when he found him with his ex-wife?
→ Hey pal, mind if I cut in?

- Homer: Boy, you don't have to follow in my footsteps.

- Bart: Don't worry, I don't even like using the bathroom after you.

- Homer: Why you little -- !

A little boy was learning about God in his church, and he was talking to his mother about it. She, not wanting to place prejudice in the little boy's mind, sat him and said: "God is not a man or a woman, and God is not black or white."

To which the child responded, "Well, then is God Michael Jackson?"

Did you know that Mike Tyson has an upcoming bout with Prince Charles?
→ It seems that no-one else has big enough ears to go 12 rounds.