Newest jokes

What was the last thing Di said to Dodi?
→ Don't you think were taking this thing a little too fast?

What do you call 5 dogs with no balls?
→ The Spice Girls!

How does Michael Jackson know its time for bed?
→ When the big hand is on the little hand.

How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
→ From a catalogue.

What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?
→ Bugs Bunny.

Here's a lame one....

What is Homer Simpson's favorite ice cream?
→ Chocolate-chip cookie DOH!

Visiting the modern art museum, a lady turned to an attendant standing nearby.

"This," she said, "I suppose, is one of those hideous representations you call modern art?"

"No, madam," replied the attendant. "That one's called a mirror."

What's the difference between Courtney Love and Wayne Gretzky?
→ Wayne takes a shower after 3 periods.

Here's a gross one:

What's the similarity between Michael Jackson and McDonalds?
→ They both stick their beef between 9 year old buns.

IMPORTANT NEWS TO ALL GUYS THAT GO OUT TO CLUBS OR BARS

Men, be more alert and cautious when getting a drink offer from girl. Good girls out there, please forward this message to your guy friends. Girlfriends, take heed!! There is a new drug that is in liquid form. The drug is now being used by female sexual predators at parties to induce their male victims to have sex with them. The shocking news is that the drug is available virtually anywhere! It goes by the street name "Beer". All girls have to do is buy a "Beer" or two for almost any guy and then simply ask the guy home for no-strings-attached sex. Men are rendered literally helpless against such tactics.