Newest jokes

Why do farts smell?
→ So deaf people can enjoy them too.

What is the definition of Agony?
→ A one-armed man hanging off a cliff with itchy balls.

Why did the one-handed man cross the road?
→ To get to the second hand shop.

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?
→ A stick.

A man eating at restaurant says to his waiter, 'waiter, there's a fly in my soup!' The waiter replies, 'That, sir, is entirely possible, you see our cook used to be a tailor.'

Did you hear about the woman who has five legs?
→ Her knickers fit her like a glove!

- Information? I need the number of the Caseway Insurance Company.

- Would you spell that, please?

- Certainly. C as in sea. A as in aye. S as in sea. E as in eye. W as in why. A as in are. Y as in you.

The operator pauses. "Just a minute, sir. I'll connect you with my supervisor . . ."

- Information. Can I help you?

- I'd like the number of the Theater Guild, please.

- One moment, please. Pause. I'm sorry sir, I have no listing for a Theodore Guild.

- No, no. It isn't a person. It's an organization. It's Theater Guild.

- I told you, sir. I have no listing for a Theodore Guild.

- Not Theodore! Theater! The word is theater. T-H-E-A-T-E-R!

- That, sir, is NOT the way you spell Theodore.

What's blue and sings alone?
→ Dan Ackroyd.

Did you hear about the queer deaf mute?
→ Neither did he.