Newest jokes

- Teacher: Why are you the only child in the classroom today?

- Pupil: Because I was the only one who didn't have school dinners yesterday!

- Teacher: What is the most common phrase used in school?

- Pupil: I don't know

- Teacher: Correct!

- Teacher: The word politics - can you give me an example of how to use it?

- Pupil: My parrot swallowed a watch and now Polly ticks!

- Teacher: What is a comet?

- Pupil: A star with a tail

- Teacher: Can you name one?

- Pupil: Lassie!

- Teacher: If you had five apples on your desk and the boy next to you took three what would you have?

- Pupil: A fight!

- Teacher: Give me a sentence with the words defence, defeat and detail in it.

- Pupil: When a horse jumps over defence, defeat go before detail!

- Teacher: Billy, please don't whistle while studying.

- Billy: Oh, but I'm not studying - just whistling!

- Teacher: Make up a sentence using the word lettuce!

- Pupil: Let us out of school early!

- Teacher: What's happens to gold when it is exposed to the air?

- Pupil: It's stolen!

- Teacher: What are you reading?

- Pupil: I dunno!

- Teacher: But you're reading aloud!

- Pupil: But I'm not listening!