Newest jokes

- Pupil: The art teacher doesn't like what I'm making?

- Dad: Why is that, what are you making?

- Pupil: Mistakes!

- Teacher: Fred, I'm glad to see your writing has improved.

- Pupil: Thank you

- Teacher: Now I can see how bad your spelling is though!

- Teacher: Name two pronouns?

- Pupil: Who?, me?

- Teacher: Why have you got cotton wool in your ears, do you have an infection?

- Pupil: Well you keep saying that things go in one ear and out the other so I am trying to keep them it all in!

- Teacher: Can you tell me something important that didn't exist 100 years ago?

- Pupil: Me!

- Teacher: In music, if "f" means "forte", what does "ff" mean?

- Pupil: Eighty

- Teacher: You seem very well read, have you read Shakespeare?

- Pupil: No

- Teacher: What have you read then?

- Pupil: Umm, I've got red hair!

- Teacher: In what part of the world are the people most ignorant?

- Pupil: Hong Kong

- Teacher: Why do you say that?

- Pupil: That's where the atlas says the population is most dense!

- Teacher: I wished you would pay a little attention

- Pupil: I'm paying as little as I can!

- Teacher: What's the longest word in the English language?

- Pupil: Smiles - because there is a mile between the first and last letters