Newest jokes

You know you're a redneck if your house still has the "WIDE LOAD" sign on the back.

You know yer a redneck when you take a load to the dump and bring back more than you took.

"Three Men And A Baby"
→ What you get when four men go fishing and one comes back not catching anything.

A male-to-female transexual was recently interviewed on a radio talk show.

The DJ asked the transexual about what, if any, pain the person experienced during the operation.

The transexual replied:

- Well, when they cut my penis off, that really didn't hurt too much. Even when they implanted the breasts in my chest, well, that really didn't hurt too much either....

- Then you didn't experience any real physical pain at all then?

- Hell no! It hurt like hell when they stuck that big fucking needle in my head and sucked out all my brains and then cut my salary in half!

You know you're a redneck when you lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off it's wheels.

Why do men have a hole in their penis?
→ So oxygen can get to their brains.

What is the average number of times in a bachelor's life that his bed is made?
→ Once, when it was still in the factory.

You know you're a redneck if you have refused to watch the Academy Awards since "Smokey and the Bandit" was snubbed for best picture.

You know you're a redneck if you had to remove a toothpick for your wedding pictures.

You know you're a redneck when you consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.