Newest jokes

What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man?
→ His wife is good at picking out clothes!

How are men like UFOs?
→ You don't know where they come from, what their mission is, or what time they're going to take off.

How is a man like the weather?
→ Nothing can be done to change either one of them.

What is the difference between a sofa and a man watching Monday Night Football?
→ The sofa doesn't keep asking for beer.

What is the difference between a man and childbirth?
→ One can be terribly painful and sometimes almost unbearable while the other is just having a baby.

What is the difference between a single 40-year-old woman and a single 40-year-old man?
→ The 40-year-old woman thinks often of having children and the 40-year-old man thinks often about dating them.

How are daughter's boyfriends like cockroaches?
→ They hang around the kitchen and it's hard to get rid of them!

How are men like diplomas?
→ You spend lots of time getting one, but once you have it, you don't know what to do with it.

What piece of furniture was named after the typical man?
→ The La-Z-Boy recliner.

If men had PMS, what would happen?
a) The federal government would allocate funds to study it.
b) Cramps would become an acceptable reason to apply for permanent disability.
c) There would be a federal holiday every 28 days.
d) All of the above.