Two proctologists are discussing their most baffling cases.
One proctologist tells the other one about the time he put his hand into a patient and pulled out a large bouquet of flowers.
The other proctologist looked really amazed and asked:
- Where did those flowers come from?
The other proctologist answered very cooly:
- How should I know. There wasn't any card!!
A doctor pulls out a thermometer from his shirt pocket. He looks at it and says, "Shit, some asshole has my pen!!!"
Psychiatrist:
Psychiatry: The care of the id by the odd.
- Patient: Doctor, I have a split personality.
- Psychiatrist: Nurse, bring in another chair!
- Psychiatrist: What is your problem?
- Patient: I think I'm a chicken.
- Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on?
- Patient: Ever since I was an egg!
- Psychiatrist: What is wrong with your brother?
- Sister: He thinks he's a chicken.
- Psychiatrist: How long has be been acting like a chicken?
- Sister: Three years. We would have come in sooner, but we needed the eggs.
- Patient: Doctor, I keep thinking that I'm a deck of cards!
- Psychiatrist: Sit over there and I'll deal with you later!
- Patient: Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a dustbin.
- Psychiatrist: Don't talk such rubbish!
- Patient: Doctor, people tell me I'm a wheelbarrow.
- Psychiatrist: Don't let people push you around.
- Patient: Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a curtain.
- Psychiatrist: Pull yourself together!
