Newest jokes

Yo momma so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund.

Yo momma so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

Yo momma so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out.

Yo momma so stupid she stole free bread.

Yo momma so stupid she took a spoon to the superbowl.

Yo momma so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.

What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
→ The more you bang it the looser it gets!

An American has sex with a Soviet emigre woman. The next day his prick turns black. He runs to a doctor and asks:

- Doctor, is this some weird venereal disease?

- Worse - says the doctor.

- It's frostbite!

A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her.

She jumped up and slapped him silly.

He immediately apologized and explained:

- I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her.

- Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable asshole! - she screamed.

- That's funny - he muttered.

- you even sound exactly like her too!

Ten Recruits had just arrived at the training camp and were lined up for inspection.

- Hey johnson! - yelled the drill instructor.

- those are the ugliest shoes i've ever seen!

- Yes, sir - the young man answered.

- Those shoes are really really ugly, right? - hollered the D.I again.

- Yes, sir!

- And that hair- dont they have barbershops where you came from?

- Yes, sir - answered the recruit.

- So why didnt you get a haircut?

- I was saving up for shoes, sir!