Guest
Talking Dirty
If a man talking dirty to a woman is sexual harassment, what do you call a woman talking dirty to a man?
→ $3.99 a minute!
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Guest
Defamation Of Character
A man was sued by a woman for defamation of character. She charged that he had called her a pig. The man was found guilty and fined.
After the trial he asked the judge:
- Does this mean that I cannot call Mrs. Johnson a pig?
The judge said that was true.
- Does this mean I cannot call a pig, 'Mrs. Johnson'? - the man asked.
The judge replied that he could indeed call a pig 'Mrs. Johnson' with no fear of legal action.
The man looked directly at Mrs. Johnson and said...:
- Good afternoon, Mrs. Johnson!
Cow With No Legs
What do you call a cow with no legs?
→ GROUND BEEF!
Guest
Clinton And A Carpenter
What's the simiarity between Clinton and a carpenter?
→ One screw in the wrong place and the whole cabinet falls apart!
Guest
African Lion
What's the difference between an african lion and OJ Simpson?
→ An african lion is an african lion, OJ Simpson is a lyin african!
Guest
Pull Lever
A road crew is making a giant freeway, when they come across a sign and a lever. The sign reads:
- pull lever and end world.
The workers decide not to pull the lever just in case.
One night, a man named Nate is driving home. He is very drunk and is just about to hit the lever when he flies off of the road and explodes.
The headlines in the newspaper the next day all read...:
- better Nate than Lever!
Guest
Cyclones
Why do they name cyclones after women?
→ Because they start off as little blow jobs and end up taking the whole house!
Guest
Four Words
Four words guaranted to destroy a man's ego: "Is it in yet?"
Guest
The Magician's Finish
A famous magician had a thundering finish to his act. He would fill a large bowl with shit and proceed to slurp it noisily, to the amazement of his audience.
One night he had just begun the wow finish of his act when he stopped in his tracks.
- Go ahead - said the stage manager:
- Eat the shit, eat the shit!
- I just can't do it - said the magician:
- There's a hair in it!
Guest
Eggs In New York
If you went to New York City for vacation and found eggs everywhere, what would the city's new name be?
→ New Yolk City!