Wrong Kid To Mow Your Lawn

Signs you hired the wrong kid to mow your lawn:

  • He shows up with a pair of nail clippers and a Ziploc bag.
  • On the side of his mower you notice the stenciled silhouettes of thirteen cats.
  • Stops frequently to nap inside the grass-catcher.
  • Always trying to impress you by stopping the mower blades with his head.
  • You notice him shoving the last of his clothes into the mulcher.
  • He's fascinated by the details of you home security system.
  • Stops every couple of minutes to smoke some clippings.
  • Somehow manages to mow the hood ornament off your Lexus.
  • Turns a goat loose and says he'll be back in three weeks.
  • No toes.
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