The Old Sea Captain

An old sea captain with one wooden leg, one hook replacing a missing hand, and one missing eye goes into a bar.

The sailor sitting next to him says:

- You're really in bad shape. What happened to your leg?

- I fell overboard - says the Captain - and before my mates could pull me aboard, a shark bit it off.

- Terrible - says the sailor.

- And what happened to your hand?

- We attacked a man-o'-war - says the Captain - and one of the attackees chopped it off with a saber.

- Awful - says the sailor.

- And how did you lose your eye?

- Seagull droppings - says the Captain.

- Amazing - says the sailor.

- I didn't know seagull droppings could put your eye out.

- Can't - says the Captain.

- But it was my first day with the hook.