Martinez Knows History

It was the first day of school and a new student named Martinez, the son of a Mexican restaurateur, entered the fourth grade. The teacher said:

- Let's begin by reviewing some American history. Who said "Give me Liberty, or give me Death?"

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Martinez, who had his hand up.

- Patrick Henry, 1775.

- Very good! Who said 'Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth'?

Again, no response except from Martinez:

- Abraham Lincoln, 1863. - said Martinez.

The teacher snapped at the class:

- Class, you should be ashamed. Martinez, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do.

She heard a loud whisper:

- Screw the Mexicans.

- Who said that? - she demanded.

Martinez put his hand up:

- Jim Bowie, 1836.

At that point, a student in the back said:

- I'm gonna puke.

The teacher glares and asks:

- All right! Now, who said that?

Again, Martinez says:

- George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991.

Now furious, another student yells:

- Oh yeah? Suck this!

Martinez jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher:

- Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!

Now with almost a mob hysteria someone said:

- You little shit. If you say anything else, I'll kill you.

Martinez frantically yells at the top of his voice:

- Gary Condit to Chandra Levy 2001.

The teacher fainted. And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said:

- Oh shit, we're in BIG trouble!

Martinez said:

- Saddam Hussein 2003.