Guardian Angel

A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice:

- Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you.

The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished.
He went on, and after awhile he was going to cross the road.
Once again the voice shouted:

- Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you and you will die.

The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him.

- Where are you? - the man asked.

- Who are you?

- I am your guardian angel - the voice answered.

- Oh yeah? - the man asked...

- And where were you when I got married?

A man called the undertaker one afternoon and sobbed:

- Come and bury my wife.

- But I buried your wife ten years ago - replied the undertaker.

- I got married again - the man sobbed.

- Oh - said the undertaker.

- Congratulations.