Longer Life

A man goes to the doctor and says:

- Doc, I would like to live very long. What should I do?

- I think that is a wise decision - the doctor replies.

- Let's see, do you smoke?

- Oh.. Half a pack a day.

- Starting NOW, no more smoking.

The man agrees.

The doctor then asks:

- Do you drink?

- Oh, well Doc, not much, just a bit of wine with my meals, and a beer or two every once in a while.

- Starting now, you drink only water. No exceptions.

The man is a bit upset, but also agrees.

The doctor asks:

- How do you eat?

- Oh, well, you know, Doc, normal stuff.

- Starting now you are going on a very strict diet. You are going to eat only raw vegetables, with no dressing, and non-fat cottage cheese.

The man is now really worried.

- Doc, is all this really necessary?

- Do you want to live long?

- Yes.

- Well then, it's absolutely necessary. And don't even think of breaking the diet.

The man is quite restless, but the doctor continues:

- Do you have sex?

- Yeah, once a week or so..., only with my wife! - he adds hurriedly.

- As soon as you get out of here you are going to buy twin beds. No more sex for you. None.

The man is appalled.

- Doc... Are you sure I'm going to live longer this way?

- I have no idea, but whatever you live, I assure you it is going to seem like an eternity!