Signs Of A Drinking Problem

Signs that you "just might" have a drinking problem.

• You lose arguments with inanimate objects.
• You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.
• Your job is interfering with your drinking.
• Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.
• Sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group.
• 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?? I think not!
• Two hands and just one mouth ... now THAT'S a drinking problem!
• The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.
• Every woman you see has an exact twin.
• You fall off the floor.
• Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger -- forget dinner!
• The glass keeps missing your mouth.
• Bill Clinton starts to make sense.
• Mosquitoes catch a buzz* after biting you.
• The whole bar says 'Hi' when you come in.
• "Hi ocifer. I'm not under the affluence of incohol."
• You have a reserved parking space at the liquor store.
• "BeerTender! Get me another Bar!"