Nerd New Year Resolutions

NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO KEEP IF YOU'RE A NERD

16. I resolve... I resolve to... I resolve to, uh... I resolve to, uh, get my, er... I resolve to, uh, get my, er, off-line work done, too!
17. I will stop checking my e-mail at 3:00 in the morning... 4:30 is much more practical.
18. When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, "LOL... LOL!"
19. I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person.
20. I will try to figure out why I really need 9 e-mail addresses.
21. I will stop sending e-mail to my roommate.
22. I will not buy magazines with AOL disks bound in just to get another 1.44MB disk.
23. I resolve to work with neglected children... my own.
24. I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm I answer e-mail.
25. When I subscribe to a newsgroup or mailing list, I will read all the mail I get from it.
26. I will stop using, "So, what's your URL?" as a pickup line.
27. No more downloads from alt.binaries.*
28. I resolve to back up my new 400 GB hard drive daily... well, once a week... monthly, perhaps...
29. I will spend less than five hour a day on the Internet.
30. I will limit my top ten lists to ten items.
31. I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it.