Violin Jokes

How can you tell if a violin is out of tune?
→ The bow is moving.

How do you make a violin sound like a viola?
→ Sit in the back and don't play.

How do you make a violin sound like a viola?
→ Play in the low register with a lot of wrong notes.

What is the difference between a violin and a viola?
→ A viola burns longer.

Why does a viola burn longer than a violin?
→ It is usually still in the case.

What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?
→ Everyone is happy when the case is closed.

Which is smaller, a violin or a viola?
→ They are actually the same size, but a violinist's head is so much bigger.

Why is a violinist like a Scud missile?
→ Both are offensive and inaccurate.

How do you keep your violin from getting stolen?
→ Put it in a viola case.

What is the difference between a violist and a terrorist?
→ Terrorists have sympathizers.

Why don't violists play hide and seek?
→ Because no one will look for them.

Why shouldn't violists take up mountaineering?
→ Because if they get lost, it takes ages before anyone notices that they're missing.