More Office Wisdom

- A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.

- After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.

- Don't be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

- Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.

- If at first you don't succeed, don't try again: quit. No use being a complete fool about it.

- If you can't get your work done in the first 24 hours, work nights.

- It doesn't matter what you do; it only matters what you say you've done and what you're going to do.

- The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.

- There will always be beer cans rolling on the floor of your car when the boss asks for a ride home from the office.

- When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.

- You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.