Great To Be A Man

Reasons why it's great to be a man:

- Your butt is never a factor in a job interview.

- Your orgasms are real. Always.

- Chocolate is just another snack.

- You can be president.

- You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.

- Car mechanics tell you the truth.

- You don't give a crap if no one notices your new haircut.

- The world is your urinal.

- Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.

- You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.

- Same work ... more pay.

- Wrinkles add character.

- You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.

- Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.

- If you retain water, it's in a canteen.

- People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.

- The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

- Porn movies are designed with you in mind.

- Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them.

- Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with "So, notice anything different?"

- One mood, ALL the damn time.

- Phone Conversations are over in 30 seconds flat!

- You know stuff about tanks.

- You can open all your own jars.

- Dry cleaners and hair cutters don't rob you blind.

- You can go to a public toilet without a support group.

- You can leave the motel bed unmade.

- You can kill your own food.

- You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

- Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.

- If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.

- Everything on your face stays its original color.

- You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming.

- You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking "He must be mad at me."

- No maxi-pads.

- You don't mooch off other's desserts.

- You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.

- You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.

- You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

- You almost never have strap problems in public.

- You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

- The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

- You don't have to shave below your neck.

- Your belly usually hides your big hips.

- One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

- You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.

- You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

- Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.