Bad Airline Signs

The Top 10 signs you're flying on a bad airline:

• The engine's being held on by duct tape.
• You see the Gorilla from those old Samsonite commercials running loose up and down the aisles.
• In-flight movie has "Ernest" in its title.
• Pilot informs you that you're at cruising altitude and he's gonna put the top down.
• Instead of Peanuts, you get a healthy helping of SPAM.
• As you're taking off, the stewardess mentions the phrase "Guest Pilot Program".
• The seats are wet due to flotation device moisture.
• The stewardess asks you to join the Mile High Club..."she" has a beard and bigger arms than you!
• Pilot asks if there is anyone else who wants a shot of Beam before he finishes the bottle.
• You look down and see a copy of "Fixing a Plane for Dummies" by the mechanic's feet!!!