Signs You're a Redneck

- You recycle your own toilet paper

- Your mom has to shave more times a month than your dad

- You see a bill board that says "Don't do crack" and it reminds you to pull up your pants.

- You stare at a carton of orange juice because it says "concentrate."

- Your bumper sticker reads: "One more Whore and We Get Gore."

- The nativity scene you set up in your yard at Christmas includes two pink flamingos and baby Jesus lying in a painted tire.

- Most of your teeth are on a chain around your neck.

- You hunt from your bedroom window.

- Your dad walks you to school because you're in the same grade.

- You refrigerate your food stamps.

- You use a 10 penny nail to pick your teeth after a night of road kill.

- You have ever dressed your child as a "Snot-rag" for Halloween.

- Your idea of a loaded dishwasher is getting your wife drunk.

- You and your spouse get divorced and you are still relatives.

- You go to your local ice cream store and order Copenhagen "sprinkles" on your cone.

- You know instinctively that red wine goes with opossum.

- You're always looking to find your Mother-in-Law's picture on the back of a milk carton!

- The officer that just pulled you over asks if "you have any I.D."..and you respond "About whut?"

- You take a beer to a job interview.

- You are caught roll'n your trailer down the street to jump start the heater.

- When you finish eatin' your bologna you use the rind for dental floss.

- You go to Goodwill to meet women.

- You and your friends are putting an engine in a pickup, drinking beer, and the conversation is: Which county jail has the best food!