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- May: What position does your brother play in the school football team?

- Jay: I think he's one of the drawbacks!

- Stan: I won 92 goldfish.

- Fred: Where are you going to keep them?

- Stan: In the bathroom

- Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath?

- Stan: Blindfold them!

What's the difference between a peeping Tom and someone who's just got out of the bath?
→ One is rude and nosey.
The other is nude and rosey!

Two small time thieves had been sent by the Big Boss to steal a van load of goods from a bathroom suppliers. One stayed in the van as look out and the other went into the storeroom.

Fifteen minutes went by, then half an hour, then an hour, and no sign of him. The look out finally grew impatient and went to look for his partner. Inside the store the two came face to face.

- Where have you been? - demanded the worried look out.

- The boss told me to take a bath, but I couldn't find the soap and a towel.

- Mum, does God use the bathroom?

- No, what a funny question!

- Then why did Dad say this morning:

- Oh, God, are you still in there?

My mother says I look just like an animal when I'm in the bath - a little bear.

- Are you going to take a bath?

- No, I'm leaving it where it is.

- Nick: Can you tell me the way to Bath?

- Rick: I use soap and water, personally.

- Adam: How did Mummy know you hadn't had a bath?

- Eve: I forgot to dirty the towel, wet the soap and flood the bathroom.

Why did the bank robber take a bath?
→ So he could make a clean getaway.

- Doctor: The best time to take a bath is before retiring.

- Patient: You mean I don't need another bath until I'm sixty-five?

- Doctor: Your system needs freshening up a bit. I suggest you take a cold bath every morning.

- Patient: Oh, but I do, doctor.

- Doctor: You do?

- Patient: Yes, every morning I take a nice cold bath and fill it with nice hot water!

- Does your brother keep himself clean?

- Oh, yes. He takes a bath every month whether he needs one or not.

- Mom: Joe, time for your medicine.

- Joe: I'll run the bath then.

- Mom: Why?

- Joe: Because on the bottle it says "to be taken in water."

- Hotel guest: Can you give me a room and a bath, please?

- Porter: I can give you a room, but you'll have to wash yourself.

Did you hear about the idiot who had a new bath put in?
The plumber said:

- Would you like a plug for it?

The idiot replied:

- Oh, I didn't know it was electric.

- Dr Frankenstein: I've just invented something that everyone in the world will want! You know how you get a nasty ring around the bathtub every time you use it, and you have to clean the ring off?

- Igor: Yes, I hate it.

- Dr Frankenstein: Well, you need never have a bathtub ring again! I've invented the square tub . . .

- Robot: I have to dry my feet carefully after a bath.

- Monster: Why?

- Robot: Otherwise I get rusty nails.

There is a new Barbie doll on the market -
House Wife Barbie ...dressed in ratty, old housecoat; comes with dirty laundry and sink full of dishes

There is a new Barbie doll on the market -
Trailer Trash Barbie ...complete with double wide trailer home

There is a new Barbie doll on the market -
Rasta Barbie ...she's got a tie-dyed t-shirt, dreadlocks and reggae CD; rolling papers sold separately

There is a new Barbie doll on the market -
Funeral Home Barbie ...complete with hearse, coffin and kicky little shroud

There is a new Barbie doll on the market -
Teenage Pregnancy Barbie ...complete with dropout forms. Angry parents and deadbeat boyfriend sold separately

There is a new Barbie doll on the market -
Sumo Barbie ...comes with thong

There is a new Barbie doll on the market -
Headgear Barbie ...guaranteed to make kids with braces feel better!