Yo Mama Jokes

Yo mama's so fat- Yo Mama's so fat, she couldn't fit in a satellite photo. - Yo Mama's so fat, she's on both sides of the family. - Yo Mama's so fat, when she fell over, she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again. - Yo Mama's so fat, when she sat on a dollar bill, blood came out of George Washington's nose - Yo Mama's so fat, the telephone company gave her two area codes - Yo Mama's so fat, the back of her neck looks like a pack of hotdogs - Yo Mama's so fat, when she goes to the beach, kids shout: "Free Willy! free Willy!" - Yo Mama's so fat, she's got her own zip code - Yo Mama's so fat, people jog around her for exercise - Yo Mama's so fat, when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago... - Yo Mama's so fat, if she weighed 5 more pounds, she could get group insurance. - Yo Mama's so fat, she jumped in air and got stuck. - Yo Mama's so fat, when she wears Maclom X shirt, helicopters land on her. - Yo Mama's so fat, when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too. - Yo Mama's so fat, the highway patrol made her wear a "Caution! Wide Turn" sign. - Yo Mama's so fat, when she sits around the house, she sits AROUND the house. - Yo Mama's so fat, when she steps on a scale, it read "One at a time, please." - Yo Mama's so fat, I swerved to avoid her in the road and ran out of gas. - Yo Mama's so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat in the rain, people run to her and yell "Taxi!" - Yo Mama's so fat, she had to go to Sea World to get baptized. - Yo Mama's so fat, she has to iron her pants on the driveway. - Yo Mama's so fat, she puts on her lipstick with a paint-roller. - Yo Mama's so fat, when she tripped on 10th St., she landed on 22nd St.. - Yo Mama's so fat, when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up. - Yo Mama's so fat, if she was a superhero, she would be "incredible bulk." - Yo Mama's so fat, a picture of her fell off the wall. - Yo Mama's so fat, at the zoo the elephants started throwing her peanuts. - Yo Mama's so fat, she stepped on rainbow and made Skittles - Yo Mama's so fat, I guess we know what's eating Gilbert Grape. - Yo mama's so fat, her ass looks like two pigs fighting over a milk dud. - Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is Ragu. - Yo mama's so fat, she wears a watch on each arm, one for each time zone. - Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a talking scale, and it said "GET THE HELL OFF!!" - Yo mama's so fat, the shadow of her ass weighs 50 pounds - Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on my cat's tail, now I call him "Beaver". - Yo mama's so fat, when I tried to drive around her, I ran out of gas. - Yo mama's so fat, when I climbed on top of her, I burned my ass on the light bulb. - Yo mama's so fat, she's got more chins than a Chinese phone book. - Yo mama's so fat, when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips. - Yo mama's so fat, I had to take a train and two busses just to get on her good side. - Yo mama's so fat, I ran around her twice, and got lost. - Yo mama's so fat, instead of wearing Levis 501 jeans, she wears Levis 1002's. - Yo mama's so fat, she's got more rolls than a bakery. - Yo mama's so fat, she was floating in the ocean, and Spain claimed her as a new world. - Yo mama's so fat, she could sell shade. - Yo mama's so fat, that when God said "Let there be Light", he told her to move her fat ass out of the way. - Yo mama's so fat, when I finished having sex with her and tried to roll off, I was still on her. - Yo mama's so fat, when I have sex with her, I have to slap her ass and ride the wave in. - Yo mama's so fat, when she bends over, we go into daylight savings time. - Yo mama's so fat, when she takes a shower, her feet don't get wet. - Yo mama's so fat, she bumps into people when she's sitting down. - Yo mama's so fat, when your father mounts her, his ears pop. - Yo Mama's so fat, her butt has it's own congressmen. - Yo Mama's so fat, she needs a boomerang to wear a belt.

• Yo Mama's so ugly, when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals"
• Yo Mama's so ugly, just after she was born, her mother said, "What a treasure!" and her father said, "Yeah! Let's go bury it!"
• Yo Mama's so ugly, they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.
• Yo Mama's so ugly, when she was born, the doctor slapped the wrong end.
• Yo Mama's so ugly, they didn't make a costume for her when she tried out for Star Wars.
• Yo Mama's so ugly, when she walks down the street in September, people say, "Damn! Is it Halloween already?"
• Yo Mama's so ugly, the govt. moved Halloween to her birthday.
• Yo Mama's so ugly, her mom had to feed her with a sling shot.
• Yo Mama's so ugly, she had to trick-or-treat over the phone.
• Yo Mama's so ugly, two guys broke into her apt., she yelled "rape", they yelled "NO!"
• Yo mama's so ugly, she's like Taco Bell. When people see her, they run for the border.
• Yo mama's so ugly, it looks like her neck threw up.
• Yo mama's so ugly, rice crispies won't even talk to her.
• Yo mama's so ugly, she scares people even with the lights out.
• Yo mama's so ugly, they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints.
• Yo mama's so ugly, when your dad wants to have sex in the car, he tells her to get out.
• Yo mama's so ugly, that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.
• Yo mama's so ugly, I took her to the zoo, guy at the door said "Thanks for bringing her back."

Yo mama's like...

• Yo mama's like a T.V., even a two-year-old could turn her on.
• Yo mama's like a bowling ball. She's picked up, fingered, thrown in the gutter, and then comes back for more.
• Yo mama's like a rifle...four cocks and she's loaded.
• Yo mama's like a bubble gum machine...five cents a blow.
• Yo mama's like Chinese food...sweet, sour, and cheap.
• Yo mama's like a birthday cake, everybody gets a piece.
• Yo mama's like Burger King... Your way, right away.
• Yo mama's like a squirrel, she's always got some nuts in her mouth.
• Yo mama's like 7-Eleven... open all night, hot to go, and for 89 cents you can get a slurpy.
• Yo mama's like a toilet, fat, white, and smells like shit.
• Yo mama's like the Bermuda Triangle, they both swallow a lot of seamen.
• Yo mama's like a street lamp, you can find her turned on at night on any street corner.
• Yo mama's like a telephone booth, open to the public, costs a quarter, and guys go in and out all day.
• Yo mama's like a 747, she has a very large cockpit.
• Yo mama's like a microwave, one button and she's hot.
• Yo mama's like speakers, loud, ugly, lives in a box, and you can turn her up, down, on, and off.
• Yo mama's like a mail box, open day and night.
• Yo mama's like a bag of potato chips, "Free-To-Lay."
• Yo mama's like a turtle, once she's on her back she's fucked.
• Yo mama's like a paper towel, she picks up all kinds of slimy wet stuff.
• Yo mama's like a bowling ball, you can fit three fingers in.
• Yo mama's like a bowling ball, she always winds up in the gutter.
• Yo mama's like cheap liquor, tastes like shit.
• Yo mama's like an aircraft carrier, has a flat top, a big bottom, cruises up and down the coast, and picks up 100 sailors in every port.
• Yo mama's like a bus, guys climb on and off her all day long.
• Yo mama's like a Christmas tree, everybody hangs balls on her.
• Yo mama's like a door knob, everybody gets a turn.
• Yo mama's like Dominoes Pizza, something for nothing.
• Yo mama's like Dominoes Pizza, one call does it all.
• Yo mama's like Pizza Hut, if she isn't there in 30 minutes... it's free.
• Yo mama's like Sprint, 10 cents a minute anywhere in the country.
• Yo mama's like a carpenter's dream, flat as a board and easy to nail.
• Yo mama's like a gas station... you gotta pay before you pump.
• Yo mama's like a goalie: she changes her pads after three periods.
• Yo mama's like a light switch, even a little kid can turn her on.
• Yo mama's like a telephone, even a 3 year old can pick her up.
• Yo mama's like a postage stamp, you lick her, stick her, then send her away.
• Yo mama's like a dollar bill, she gets handled all across the country.
• Yo mama's like a brick, dirty, flat on both sides, and always getting laid by Mexicans.
• Yo mama's like a race car driver... she burns a lot of rubbers.
• Yo mama's like a railroad track, she gets laid all over the country.
• Yo mama's like a screen door, after a couple of bangs she loosens up.
• Yo mama's like a shotgun, one cock and she blows.
• Yo mama's like a Toyota, "OOooh what a feeling!"
• Yo mama's like a vacuum cleaner... a real good suck.
• Yo mama's like a vacuum cleaner... she sucks, blows, and then gets laid in the closet.
• Yo mama's like an ice cream cone... everyone gets a lick.
• Yo mama's like the Panama Canal, vessels full of seamen pass through her everyday.
• Yo mama's like a refrigerator, everyone puts their meat in her.
• Yo mama's like cake mix, 15 servings per package!
• Yo mama's like an elevator, guys go up and down on her all day.
• Yo mama's like Denny's... open 24 hours.
• Yo mama's like McDonalds... Billions and Billions served.
• Yo mama's like McDonalds... What you want is what you get.
• Yo mama's like mustard, she spreads easy.
• Yo mama's like the Pillsbury dough boy... everybody pokes her.
• Yo mama's like lettuce, $1 a head.
• Yo mama's like a hardware store, 25 cents a screw.

• Your momma is so fat... the back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs!
• Yo momma is so ugly, she entered and ugly contest and one of the judges said "Sorry... No proffessionals allowed!!!"
• Yo momma's so fat, when the lord said "Let There Be Light", he had to ask her to move over!
• Yo mama's teeth are so yellow that when she smiles, people SLOW DOWN!
• Yo mama is so fat, she walked into a resturant took one look at the menu and said, "yes please!"
• Yo momma so fat, the last time she saw 90210 was on a scale!
• Yo momma's so fat she had to get baptised at Sea World!
• Whenever your mamma farts, she causes a continental drift!
• Yo momma's so fat even if she was the last person alive, the world would still be over populated!

Yo mama so stupid she got a peep hole in a glass door.
Yo mama so stupid she thought an aspiration was butt sweat.
Yo mama so stupid she looks at a can of juice for days 'cause it says concentrate.
Yo mama so stupid she thinks Taco Bell is a Mexican phone company.
Yo mama so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl.
Yo mama so stupid you have to dig for her IQ!.
Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!
Yo mama so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!
Yo mama so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight!
Yo mama so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!
Yo mama so stupid that she sold the car for gas money.
Yo mama so stupid that she ran into an automatic sliding door.
Yo mama so stupid that she tried to drown a fish.
Yo mama so stupid she asked you "What is the number for 911"
Yo mama so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
Yo mama so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out.
Yo mama so stupid she stole free bread.
Yo mama so stupid she took a spoon to the superbowl.
Yo mama so stupid she called Dan Quayle for a spell check.
Yo mama so stupid she stepped on a crack and broke her own back.
Yo mama so stupid she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train.
Yo mama so stupid she thought an elevator was a mobile home.
Yo mama so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.
Yo mama so stupid she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at McDonalds!
Yo mama so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!
Yo mama so stupid that she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.
Yo mama so stupid when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead.
Yo mama so stupid she thought a quarterback was an income tax refund.
Yo mama so stupid she took a umbrella to see Purple Rain.
Yo mama so stupid that under "Education" on her job application, she put "Hooked on Phonics."
Yo mama so stupid she watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes.
Yo mama so stupid she thought gangrene was another golf course.
Yo mama so stupid she couldn't read an audio book.
Yo mama so stupid she thought the Nazis were saying "Hi! Hitler".
Yo mama so stupid it take her a week to get rid of a 24hr virus.
Yo mama so stupid She has to ask for help to use hamburger helper.
Yo mama so stupid she asked me what kind of jeans I had on and I said "guess" so she said levi's.
Yo mama so stupid when she walked into Walgreens she said, "These walls ain't green!!"
Yo mama so stupid she put a quarter in a parking meter and she yelled "were's my gumball."
Yo mama so stupid that when she looked in the mirror, she said stop copying me!
Yo mama so stupid she brought toilet paper to a crap game.
Yo mama so stupid she asked for a price check at the $.99 store.
Yo mama so stupid she walked into an antique store and said what's new!
Yo mama so stupid she saw a sign that said "WET FLOOR", So she did.
Yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.

Your so old you have to put your d*ck in the freezer to get it hard.

Your mom is so stupid she tried to wake up a sleeping bag.

Your mamma is so fat when she steps on the scales it says one at a time please.

Your mamma is so fat when she goes swimming in the ocean she gets harpooned.

Yo mama so fat when she step on da scale it says to be continued

Yo mammas breath so nasty that when she burps her teeth have to duck