Women Jokes

What do you call a truckload of vibrators?
→ Toys for Twats.

3 pregnant women were waiting in the doctor's waiting room for an antenatal check-up and were all knitting garments for there respective babies.

Suddnely the first expectant mother stops knitting, checks her watch, pulls a bottle of pills from her handbag and takes one...

"What was that?", the other two ask, curiously.

"Calcium tablet. Good for mommy, good for little baby", she replies, patting her stomach affectionately.

Satisfied, all 3 continue with their knitting...

5 minutes later, the second one stops knitting, checks her watch, takes a bottle of pills from her handbag and takes one..

"What was that?", the other two enquire.

"Vitamin tablet", she replies, "Good for mommy, good for little baby" and she pats her stomach affectionately.

All 3 smile and continue busily with their knitting...

5 minutes later, the last woman stops knitting, checks her watch, takes a bottle of pills from her handbag and takes one..

"What was that?" ask the other two..

"Thalidomide. I can't knit sleeves..."

Why are girls like pianos?
→ When they're not upright, they're grand...

Why do they call it PMS?
→ Mad Cow disease was already taken.

Why do women get PMS?
→ THEY JUST FUCKING DO ALRIGHT!?

What does a girl with bulimia call two fingers?
→ Desert.

What has a woman got in common with a box of Kentucky Fried Chicken?
→ Once you get past the tender breast and the juicy thigh, all you're left with is a greasy box.

What does a woman of 40 have between her breasts that a woman of 20 doesn't?
→ A belly-button!

Did you hear about Tempura House?
→ It's a shelter for lightly battered women.

A young girl goes to the gynecologist and he examines her.

He says, "You have acute vaginitis."

She says "Thank you."