Women Jokes

Why is it good that we now have female astronauts?
→ When the crew gets lost in space, at least the woman will ask for directions.

What does a woman have to do to keep a man interested?
→ Wear perfume that smells like beer.

When a woman gets married, she wants the 3 S's: sensitivity, sincerity, and sharing. What does she get?
→ The 3 B's: burps, body odor, and beer breath.

What did God say after he created man?
→ "I can do better than this" and he made woman.

But the disruptions created in Adam's internals when God removed his rib were so great that it caused Adam's brain to sink down into his testicles.

And so one of Eve's first assignments was to explain to Adam the difference between his black and navy blue socks.

Why do so many women fake orgasm?
→ Because so many men fake foreplay.

Why are women so bad at mathematics?
→ Because men keep telling them that this...|<---------------------->| is 12 inches.

What do men and women have in common?
→ They both distrust men.

What is the difference between a man and childbirth?
→ One can be terribly painful and sometimes almost unbearable while the other is just having a baby.

What is the difference between a single 40-year-old woman and a single 40-year-old man?
→ The 40-year-old woman thinks often of having children and the 40-year-old man thinks often about dating them.

If men had PMS, what would happen?
a) The federal government would allocate funds to study it.
b) Cramps would become an acceptable reason to apply for permanent disability.
c) There would be a federal holiday every 28 days.
d) All of the above.