Stats/Math Jokes

"Our teacher has a bad memory. For three days she asked us how much is two and two. We told her it was four. But she still doesn't know. Today she asked us again!"

- Teacher: If I gave you three rabbits today and five rabbits tomorrow, how many rabbits would you have?

- Jackie: Nine.

- Teacher: That's not right, you'd have eight.

- Jackie: No, Teacher, I'd have nine. I already have one rabbit at home!

- Fred: I've added these figures ten times.

- Teacher: Good work!

- Fred: And here are my ten answers!

- Teacher: Jackie, take 932 from 1,439. What is the difference?

- Stella: That's what I say, what's the difference?

- Teacher: Can you count to 10?

- Fred: Yes, teacher-one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

- Teacher: Now go on from there.

- Fred: Jack, Queen, King.

The teacher was reviewing counting with her first-grade class. "Jackie," she asked, "can you count to 10 without mistakes?"
"Yes," said Jackie, and she did.
"Now, Fred," said the teacher, "can you count from 10 to 20?"
"That depends," said Fred, "with or without mistakes"!

- Teacher: How much is half of 8

- Pupil: Up and down or across?

- Teacher: What do you mean?

- Pupil: Well, up and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0

- Teacher: What's 2 and 2

- Pupil: 4

- Teacher: That's good

- Pupil: Good?, that's perfect!

- Teacher: Are you good at math?

- Pupil: Yes and no

- Teacher: What do you mean?

- Pupil: Yes, I'm no good at math!

'Ann!' the teacher shouted one day at the girl who had been daydreaming out the window. 'If India has the world's second largest population, oranges are 50 cents for six and it costs $3 for a day return to Austin, how old am I?'

- Thirty two!

- Why did you say that?

- Well, my brother's sixteen and he's half mad!