Situations

- Why does your sign say "Fine Dining"?

- We can dream, can't we?

- Waiter, this food is repeating on me.

- Good, we love repeat business.

- Waiter, there's a button in my salad.

- It must have come off while the salad was dressing.

- Waiter, look at this chicken! It's nothing but skin and bones.

- Would you like the feathers, too?

- Waiter, I can't eat this meal.

- Why not? It looks all right to me.

- I don't have a fork.

- This fish isn't as good as what I ordered here last month.

- That's funny. It's from the same fish.

- That crust on the apple pie was too tough.

- That wasn't the crust, that was the pie plate.

- I didn't order this.

- I know, but your meal tastes worse.

- How long must I wait for that turtle soup I ordered?

- Well, you know how slow turtles are.

- How come the Board of Health hasn't come in and closed you up?

- They're afraid to eat here.