Situations

"Waiter!" shouted the furious diner, "How dare you serve me this!
There's a damn TWIG in my soup!"

"My apologies," said the waiter. "I'll inform the branch manager."

- Waiter, my lunch is talking to me!

- Well you did ask for a tongue sandwich!

- Waiter, is there soup on the menu?

- No, madam I wiped it off!

- Why are you taking so long to order?

- I can't decide whether I want heartburn or nausea.

- I'm sorry to keep you waiting. Your soup will be ready soon.

- What bait are you using?

- I'm sorry I spilled a glass of water on you.

- That's all right. My suit is too large anyway.

- It looks like rain today.

- Yes it does, but it smells like soup.

- This bread is stale.

- It wasn't last week.

- Didn't you tell me the chef here cooked for the late heads of Europe?

- Yes, and that's why they are the late heads of Europe.

- Why are the waiters in here so nasty?

- Look at who they have to serve.