Random joke from this category
Personally, I like to stay and read the credits. When the last scene of Titanic faded to black and people began rushing for the exits, I shouted: "Quick! There are only enough cars in the parking lot for half of us!"
A man was fed up of having his car broken into and having his radio stolen he decided he would remove it when he parked his car he also left a note saying there is no point in breaking in my car as there is nothing to steal. When he returned to his car it had been broken into again and there was a new note where his had left his, saying just checking.!
A Roadway driver is driving east on Route 66 he sees a truck driving west and the CB crackles to life.
"Hey Roadway driver whos the two biggest poofs in America?" comes from the CB.
The Roadway driver replies. "I don't know".
The other trucker says "You and your brother".
Well the Roadway driver gets all annoyed but the other driver tells him "Its just a joke - tell it to the next truck you see."
Well the Roadway driver drives for about an hour an finally sees another truck. He gets on the CB and says "Hey other truck do you know who the two biggest poofs in the world are?"
The other trucker says "I don't know who?"
The roadway driver replies "Me and my brother"
When I get real bored, I like to drive down town and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving.
Did you ever see a country boy in New York whistle for a cab? He puts two fingers in his mouth and hollers, "Taxi!"
A San Francisco motorist following a taillight in a dense fog crashed into the car ahead of him when it stopped suddenly.
"Why didn't you let me know you were going to stop?" he yelled into the mist.
"Why should I?" came a voice out of the fog. "I'm in my own garage!"
Why is it not safe to doze on trains?
→ Because they run over sleepers.
You know all that talk about backseat driving?
Well, I've been driving all my life and can safely say that I've never heard a word from the back seat.
What kind of car do you drive?
→ A hearse!
- Learner driver: What happens when everything's coming your way?
- Instructor: You're in the wrong lane.
A man was in court charged with parking his car in a restricted area. The judge asked if he had anything to say in his defense. "They shouldn't put up such misleading notices," said the man. "It said FINE FOR PARKING HERE."
