Situations

a guy was teased everywhere of his totally noticably bald head! Afta goin thru yrs of this, he decided that he should say sumthin about it! so he stood up on2 the tallest statue and shouted 4 everyone 2 hear: 'I AM NOT BALD, ITS JUST THAT IM TALLER THAN MY HAIR!'

At 5 P.M. one Halloween afternoon, my dental hygienist realized that she wouldn't make it to the store in time to get snacks for trick-or-treaters. So she took home some free samples from the office supply cabinet. That night she handed out dozens of toothbrushes, toothpaste, and dental floss. The next year, although she had bags of chips and popcorn, not one child came knocking at her door.

Why were the ghosts wet and tired?
→ They had just dread-ged the lake.

Which day of the week do ghosts like best?
→ Moandays.

Why don't ghosts make good magicians?
→ You can see right through their tricks.

What is a ghost's favorite Wild West town?
→ Tombstone.

How do you get a ghost to lie perfectly flat?
→ You use a spirit level.

Which ghost ate too much porridge?
→ Ghouldilocks.

A butler came running into his important master's office.

"Sir, sir, there's a ghost in the corridor. What shall I do with him?"

Without looking up from his work the master said, "Tell him I can't see him."

What do you call a ghost who's always sleeping?
→ Lazy bones.