Situations

Did you hear that Betty Crocker passed away.

The funeral is set at 4:50 for ten to fifteen minutes.

With all the recent talk of cloning, you'd think it was a new thing.

But in fact, a very wealthy westerner had himself cloned many years ago. The boy grew up to have very foul mouth. The more the son swore, the madder the father got. One day, the father got so mad he pushed his son off a high cliff. The sheriff arrested him for making an obscene clone fall.

How can you identify an blind pirate?
→ He's the one with patches over both eyes.

Did you hear about that guy who was tap dancing?
→ He broke his ankle when he fell into the sink.

What sits at the bottom of the ocean and shakes?
→ A nervous wreck.

A lady was in a hardware store looking at a fishing poles. She asked the store manager how much it was he said, 'I am blind drop it on the ground and i'll tell ya.' She dropped it on the ground.

'Aahh that's 10.00.' She bent down and let a big fart that everyone heard. But, she really wanted the pole so she picked it up. And went to pay for it.

'That will be 20.00'

'But you said 10.00'

'10.00 extra for the stink bait and duck call.'

Why are E.T.s eyes so big?
→ Because he saw the phone bill.

Why did the one-handed man cross the road?
→ To get to the second hand shop.

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?
→ A stick.

A man eating at restaurant says to his waiter, 'waiter, there's a fly in my soup!' The waiter replies, 'That, sir, is entirely possible, you see our cook used to be a tailor.'