Guest
Another Glass Of Water
- Daddy, daddy, can I have another glass of water, please?
- But that's the tenth one I've given you tonight!
- Yes, but the baby's bedroom is still on fire.
Mom/Dad Jokes
- All
- Animal Jokes 3869
- April Fools Jokes 10
- At Work 856
- Aviation Jokes 339
- Bar Jokes 445
- Blonde Jokes 1226
- Business Jokes 842
- Camping Jokes 88
- Celebrities 657
- Christmas Jokes 343
- Clean Jokes 1299
- Comedian Jokes 85
- Computer Jokes 800
- Dirty Jokes 3278
- Doctor Jokes 989
- Drunks 538
- Dumb Jokes 1114
- Elderly Jokes 636
- Ethnic 982
- Farming Jokes 327
- Festival Jokes 300
- Food Jokes 1052
- Gender Jokes 298
- Golf Jokes 164
- Instrument Jokes 274
- Irish Jokes 242
- Kids Jokes 2024
- Language Jokes 1361
- Lawyer Jokes 565
- Marriage Jokes 1855
- Medicine 1113
- Men Jokes 959
- Military Jokes 384
- Mom/Dad Jokes 674
- Ouch 850
- Police Jokes 668
- Political Jokes 751
- Practical Jokes 33
- Red Indian Jokes 66
- Redneck Jokes 248
- Relationships 775
- Religion 1283
- School 906
- Science 461
- Sex Jokes 935
- Situations 1812
- Sport Jokes 602
- Stats/Math Jokes 214
- Travel Jokes 715
- War 134
- Women Jokes 1241
- Yo Mama Jokes 333
Random joke from this category
Guest
The Poor Smiths
- Mum, are the Smiths very poor people?
- I don't think so, Jimmy. Why do you ask?
- Because they made such a fuss when their baby swallowed a coin
Guest
What Is A Baby
What is a baby: A soft pink thing that makes a lot of noise at one end and has no sense of responsibility at the other.
Guest
New Baby Brother
- Fred: My mum's having a new baby.
- Drew: What's wrong with the old one?
Guest
Image Of His Father
- My new baby is the image of his father.
- Never mind. just so long as he's healthy.
Customs Interrogation
After an overnight flight to meet my father at his latest military assignment, my mother wearily arrived at Rhein-Main Air Base in Germany with my eight siblings and me -- all under age 11.
Collecting our many suitcases, the ten of us entered the cramped customs area. A young customs official watched our entourage in disbelief, "Ma'am," he said, "do all these children and this luggage belong to you?"
"Yes, sir," my mother said with a sigh, "they're all mine."
The customs agent began his interrogation: "Ma'am, do you have any weapons, contraband or illegal drugs in your possession?"
"Sir," she calmly answered, "if I'd had any of those items, I would have used them by now."
Baked Apples
- Dad, do you like baked apples?
- Yes son, why?
- The orchard's on fire.
Broken Computer
- Mum, Mum, Dad's broken my computer!
- How did he do that?
- I dropped it on his head.
Guest
New Basketball
The programmer to his son: "Here, I brought you a new basketball."
"Thank you, daddy, but where is the user's guide?"
Guest
Super Computer
They say that the new super computer knows everything. A skeptical man came and asked the computer, "Where is my father?"
The computer bleeped for a short while, and then came back with "Your father is fishing in Michigan."
The skeptical man said triumphantly, "You see? I knew this was nonsense. My father has been dead for twenty years."
"No", replied the super computer immediately. "Your mother's husband has been dead for twenty years. Your father just landed a three pound trout."