Men Jokes

"Three Men And A Baby"........

What you get when four men go fishing and one comes back after having caught nothing.

Which of the following lines will do a better job of frightening a man away?

1. Get away or I'll call the police!!!
2. I love you and want to marry you and have your children.

Where do you have to go to find a man who is truly into commitment?
→ A mental hospital.

If men had PMS, what would happen?
a) The federal government would allocate funds to study it.
b) Cramps would become an acceptable reason to apply for permanent disability.
c) There would be a federal holiday every 28 days.
d) All of the above.

How are men like UFOs?
→ You don't know where they come from, what their mission is, or what time they're going to take off.

What is the only time a man thinks about a candlelight dinner?
→ When the power goes off.

What is a macho man?
→ After getting a blow job, he asks the woman, 'Was it as good for you, as it was for me?'

Why are men like blenders?
→ You need one, but you're not quite sure why.

Why is urine yellow and sperm white?
→ So men can tell if they are coming or going.

What's the ultimate rejection?
→ When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep.