Men Jokes

What do men and sperm have in common?
→ They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being.

Why is a man's pee yellow and his sperm white?
→ So he can tell if he is coming or going.

What do electric trains and breasts have in common?
→ They're intended for children, but it's the men who usually end up playing with them.

Why don't women have men's brains?
→ Because they don't have penises to put them in.

Why do men become smarter during sex?
→ Because they are plugged into a genius.

How is a man like a snowstorm?
→ You never know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long it will last.

What is that insensitive bit at the base of the penis called?
→ The man.

"Ever since we got married, my wife has tried to change me. She got me to stop drinking, smoking and running around until all hours of the night. She taught me how to dress well, enjoy the fine arts, gourmet cooking, classical music, even how to invest in the stock market."

"Sounds like you may be bitter because she changed you so drastically," remarked his friend.

"I'm not bitter. Now that I'm so improved, she just isn't good enough for me."

How many men does it take to put the toilet seat down?
→ Nobody knows, it hasn't happened yet.

Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
→ So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.