Random joke from this category
Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive's wife stops by his office.
As she walks in unannounced, she finds his secretary sitting on his lap.
Without hesitating, he begins to dictate a letter... "And in conclusion gentlemen, budget cut or not, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair."
Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive's wife stops by his office.
As she walks in unannounced, she finds his secretary sitting on his lap.
Without hesitating, he begins to dictate a letter... "And in conclusion gentlemen, budget cut or not, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair."
The farmer goes to town one day and happens to run into his old pal the tractor salesman.
"How's business?" asks the farmer.
"Not very good, I haven't sold a tractor in months. How are things on the farm?" asked the salesman.
"Well-- The other day I went out to the barn to milk that old cow I have. I started milking and she swatted me with her tail, so I tied her tail to the ceiling. I started milking again and she kicked me with her left leg so I tied that to the left side of the stall. I started milking again and she kicked me with her right leg so I tied that one to the right side of the stall. About that time my wife walked in the barn, and if you can convince her that I was just trying to milk that damn cow, I'll buy a tractor from you!!"
- First cannibal: My wife's a tough old bird.
- Second cannibal: You should have left her in the oven for another half an hour.
- First cannibal: I don't know what to make of my husband these days.
- Second cannibal: How about a curry?
What did the cannibal's wife give her husband when he came home late for dinner?
→ The cold shoulder.
Two cannibals were having lunch.
- Your wife makes a great soup.
- Yes! But I'm going to miss her terribly.
Did you hear about the blonde that got pregnant for the second time?
→ She asked her husband if they needed to get married again.
What do you call a blonde in a leather jacket?
→ Married.
A blonde calls her husband at work one day and asks him, "Can you help me when you get home?"
"Sure," he replies. "What's the problem?"
"Well, I started a really hard puzzle and I can't even find the edge pieces."
"Look on the box," he said. "There's always a picture of what the puzzle is."
"It's a big rooster," she said.
The husband arrives home and tells his blonde wife, "Okay, put the corn flakes back in the box."
