Language Jokes

- Teacher: Name two pronouns?

- Pupil: Who?, me?

- Teacher: You seem very well read, have you read Shakespeare?

- Pupil: No

- Teacher: What have you read then?

- Pupil: Umm, I've got red hair!

- Teacher: What's the longest word in the English language?

- Pupil: Smiles - because there is a mile between the first and last letters

- Teacher: I want you to tell me the longest sentence you can think of

- Pupil: Life imprisonment!

- Teacher: In 1940, what were the Poles doing in Russia?

- Pupil: Holding up the telegraph lines!

- Teacher: What is can't short for?

- Pupil: Cannot miss

- Teacher: and what is don't short for

- Pupil: Doughnut

What do French pupils say after finishing their school dinners?
→ Mercy!

Where do children learn their ABC's?
→ At LMN-tary school!

- Teacher: The word politics - can you give me an example of how to use it?

- Pupil: My parrot swallowed a watch and now Polly ticks!

- Teacher: Give me a sentence with the words defence, defeat and detail in it.

- Pupil: When a horse jumps over defence, defeat go before detail!