Language Jokes

Through infinite myst, software reverberates
In code possess'd of invisible folly.

Wilt thou dare interface
With thy Apple Macintosh keypad
By toggling my tweaky bosom?

Alack!

Leave laserjet laughter to the laptop lover.

Behold beta beauty in a keyboard's keen kindness.

Now yet torment thy melancholy hardware
By always vexing the amorous flame
Of thine model motherboard.

This tyrant widget conceals scuzzy games
And pleasure treasured dear:
Then kiss me.

Celestial evil's idolatrous template within AOL
Will deceive some cybersex users
And email "cancel our service."

Tis a rare tongue
That many maiden bugs command,
Revealing bounteous distress,
Trashing bold memory:
Click and crash gloriously.

Weep not, beauteous Microsoft!

Hereafter reboot.

What does a blonde think an innuendo is?
→ An Italian suppository.

Write down on a peice of paper:
M R ducks
M R not
O S A R
C M wangs
L I B
M R ducks

Now have somebody say it, saying the capitals as letters, it comes out as:
'em are ducks
'em are not
oh 'es 'ey are
see 'em wangs
'ell ill be
'em are ducks

There was a gay lad from Kartoume
Took a lesbian up to his room
Well, they argued all night
as to who had the right
To do what, with which and to whom

- Teacher: Johnny, use defeat, deduct, defense, and detail in one sentence.

- Johnny: De-feet of DE-duck went over De-fence before De-tail.

Confucious say...

All who fly upside-down have crack up.

He who stand on toilet high on pot.

He who shits brick has square hole.

Fly who sit on toilet seat get pissed off.

A panda bear walks into a bar, and tells the bartender that he wants to have lunch. The bartender gives him a menu and he orders.

The panda bear eats his lunch, and when he finishes, he gets up to leave. Suddenly, the panda bear pulls an AK-47 out of his fur, and shoots the bar to pieces. He then heads for the door.

The shocked bartender jumps out from behind the destroyed bar and yells, "Hey, what do you think you're doing? You ate lunch, shot up my bar, and now you're just going to leave?"

The panda bear answers calmlly, "I'm a panda bear." The bartender says, "Yeah, so?" The panda bear replies, "Look it up," and walks out the door.

The bartender jumps back behind the ruined bar and grabs his encyclopedia. He looks up "panda bear," and sure enough, there is a picture of the panda bear.

He reads the caption, which says, "Panda Bear--a cuddly, black and white creature. Eats shoots and leaves."

What did one casket say to the other?
→ Was that you coffin?

Why was the belt arrested?
→ Because it held up a pair of pants!

Are you harboring a fugitive?
→ Hu Yu Hai Ding?

See me A.S.A.P.
→ Kum Hia Nao

Stupid Man
→ Dum Gai

Small Horse
→ Tai Ni Po Ni

Your price is too high!!
→ No Bai Dam Thing!!

Did you go to the beach?
→ Wai Yu So Tan?

I bumped into a coffee table
→ Ai Bang Mai Ni

I think you need a facelift
→ Chin Tu Fat

It's very dark in here
→ Wai So Dim?

Has your flight been delayed?
→ Hao Long Wei Ting?

An unauthorized execution
→ Lin Ching

I thought you were on a diet
→ Wai Yu Mun Ching?

This is a tow away zone
→ No Pah King

You are not very bright
→ Yu So Dum

I got this for free
→ Ai No Pei

I am not guilty
→ Wai Hang Mi?

Please, stay a while longer
→ Wai Go Nao?

Our meeting was scheduled next week
→ Wai Yu Kum Nao

They have arrived
→ Hia Dei Kum

Stay out of sight
→ Lei Lo

He's cleaning his automobile
→ Wa Shing Ka

Your body odor is offensive
→ Hu Man Go!

Pew! does this bathroom stink!
→ Hu Flung Dung?