Ethnic

A Chinese man had three daughters; he asked his eldest daughter what kind of man she would like to marry.

"I would like to marry a man with three dragons on his chest", said the eldest daughter. He then asked his second daughter whom she would like to marry. "I would like to marry a man with two dragons on his chest", said the second daughter. He finally asked his youngest daughter whom she would like to marry. "I would like to marry a man with one draggin' on the ground", said the youngest daughter.

Why don't Jewish mothers drink?
→ Alcohol interferes with their suffering.

The Harvard School of Medicine did a study of why Jewish women like Chinese food so much. The study revealed that this is due to the fact that WonTon spelled backwards is Not Now.

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

This older Jewish man was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to receive the anesthesia he asked to speak to his son. "Yes Dad, what is it?"

"Don't be nervous, son, do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me ... your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife...."

What's a Jewish American Princess' favorite position?
→ Facing Bloomingdales

A man calls his mother in Florida. "Mom, how are you?"

"Not too good," says the mother. "I've been very weak."

The son says, "Why are you so weak?"

She says, "Because I haven't eaten in 38 days."

The man says, "That's terrible. Why haven't you eaten in 38 days?"

The mother answers, "Because I didn't want my mouth to be filled with food if you should call."

A Jewish couple, are sitting together on an airplane flying to the Far East. Over the public address system, the Captain announces: "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning, and this plane will be going down momentarily. Luckily, I see an island below us that should be able to accommodate our landing. This island appears to be uncharted; I am unable to find it on our maps. So the odds are that we will never be rescued and will have to live on the island for a very long time, if not for the rest of our lives."

A few minutes later the plane lands safely on the island, whereupon Morris turns to his wife and asks, "Esther, did we pay our pledge to the Yeshiva yet?"

"No Morris!" she responded.

Morris smiles, then asks, "Esther, did we pay our UJA pledge?"

"Oy no, I forgot to send the check!!"

Now Morris laughs.

"One last thing, Esther. Did you remember to send our Temple Building Fund check this month?"

"Oy Morris I forgot that one too!"

Now Morris is practically choking with laughter.

Esther asks Morris, "So what are you smiling and laughing about?"

Morris responds, "They'll find us!!"

How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?
→ They had reservations.

What do you call a Japanese drummer boy whose father has diarrhea?
→ A slap happy Jappy, with a crap happy pappy.