Dumb Jokes

And then there was the UCLA professor who opened up his vest, pulled out his tie and wet his pants.

- Professor, I hear your wife has had twins. Boys or girls?

- Well, I believe one is a girl and one is a boy but it may be the other way around.

Did you hear about the Louisiana Tech professor who stood in front of a mirror for two hours, wondering where he'd seen himself before?

What do you get when you cross a Texas Aggie with an ape?
→ A retarded ape.

Why don't Purdue athletes eat pickles?
→ They can't get their heads in the jar.

Why does Clinton always have a stupid grin on his face?
→ He is stupid!

Did you hear about the stupid turkey?
→ It was looking forward to Christmas!

Why did the nutty kid throw butter out of the window?
→ He wanted to see a butterfly.

Why did the nutty kid throw a glass of water out of the window?
→ He wanted to see a waterfall.

- Why are you crying, Ted? asked his mum.

- Because my new sneakers hurt.

- That's because you have put them on the wrong feet.

- But they are the only feet I have.