Dumb Jokes

- Say, your house is burning.

- That's okay. I got enough lumber in the attic to build a new one.

How many idiots who ask stupid questions does it take to screw in a light bulb?
→ Change it to what?

- Fred: Did you hear about the Irish window cleaner who put a sign at the top of his ladder?

- Harry: What did the sign say?

- Fred: Stop.

Did you hear about the stupid water-polo player?
His horse drowned . . .

A man in a swimming pool was on the very top diving board. He poised, lifted his arms, and was about to dive when the attendant came running up, shouting, "Don't dive - there's no water in that pool!"
"That's all right," said the man.
"I can't swim!"

How do you confuse an idiot?
→ Give him two spades and ask him to take his pick.

- Teacher: That's the stupidest boy in the whole school.

- Mother: That's my son.

- Teacher: Oh! I'm so sorry.

- Mother: You're sorry?

Did you hear about the idiot who invented the one-piece jigsaw puzzle?

An Irishman saw a notice outside a police station which read: MAN WANTED FOR ROBBERY.
So he went in and applied for the job!

A stupid man was struggling out of his house with a big table. His neighbor said to him, "Hello, Harry. Where are you going with that then?" And Harry replied, "I'm taking it to the store to have it measured for a new tablecloth."