Comedian Jokes

- Clown: Why are you wearing such a large shirt?

- Second Clown: I always perform in the big top.

What's blue and sings alone?
→ Dan Ackroyd.

Why do primates do so well in show biz?
→ Put any Ape in the spotlight - and monkeyshines!

Why did the actor fire his Gorilla agent?
→ The big Ape kept wanting to take more than a 10% bite!

Did you hear about the ghost comedian?
→ He was booed off stage.

How do comedians send messages?
→ By tee-hee mail.

Who is the dogs favourite comedian?
→ Growlcho Marx!

A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands.

"Doctor," says the man excitedly and dramatically holds up his heavily bandaged hands. "Will I be able to play the piano when these bandages come off?"

"I don't see why not," replies the doctor.

"That's funny," says the man. "I wasn't able to play it before."

What do you get from a cowmedian?
→ Cream of Wit!

Dear Father Christmas, this Christmas could you please send me a yellow door.
Yours, Sherlock Holmes

- Watson: So why do you want a yellow door Holmes?

- Lemon-entry my dear Watson.